People attract each other through nonverbal behavior
There are three categories of behavior that serve to attract sexual attention among people:
- Announce someone presence – I’m here
- Advertise one’s gender identity - I am female/male
- Declare receptivity - I’m harmless and hospitable
Movement serves to announce one’s presence, since the eye is hypersensitive to motion. People will move in ways that show off their gender identity. College men will swagger, subtly flex their muscles or playfully display strength and agility, such as punching or arm wrestling during greetings, or tossing a frisbee. Women can groom themselves, toss their hair, and allow their hips to sway to show they enjoy being in their bodies. Both sexes may laugh or make exclamations that broadcast the ring of their voices and their capacity for enjoyment and pleasure.
In addition to attracting attention and advertising gender, one’s behavior must also assure onlookers that one is harmless and hospitable to approach. Lifting or shrugging shoulders, tilting the head to one side, toeing in slightly, leaning forward slightly, and relaxed positions or uncrossed limbs are all subliminal postural signals inviting others to approach. Shrugging, tilting, and pigeon-toeing are all remnants of the protective startle reflex which can be easily seen in young children confronting a stranger. With these actions our brain unconsciously communicates that we are struck or startled by the other and therefore closer to fright than aggression.
By broadcasting that we are reacting more like a child than a predator, we may stimulate caring and protective reactions in the onlookers, or invite him or her to approach and capitalize on his or her superiority. Women and subordinates shrug, tilt, and toe in more than men and bosses, and are frequently seen tilting or gazing down or away in magazines ads. But both sexes do it in attraction scenes.
People attract each other through nonverbal behavior
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